Death by the JAWS ice cube...

in the event of my death...
"Have you seen this ice cube?...because it is awesome!"
da da daaah da...da da daaaaaah ...
On a related note, if one cared to annoy the authorites,
or at least puzzle them for a minimal time,
committing sepaku by a sword made of ice
would suffice...
Where is the weapon?...
MELTED.
If only bullets could be made of ICE...

I GUESS THAT WOULD MAKE IT A WATER GUN. -h.

Alphabetically Bad to Consume Drugs...

in the event of my death... Never,  OR with extreme caution...
do AMPHETAMINES while practicing ARCHERY...
do heavy BARBITUATES while blow drying your hair in the BATHTUB...
do CRACK/COCAINE while canoeing.       PERIOD.     and ouch...
do DILAUDID while DANGEROUSLY DRAG RACING...
do ECSTASY while EATING escargot, or eel, or ANYTHING  with your F A M I LY. ooooooh.

do . .. ... whaT You cAn to.... Not...DrIVe  YoUrSeLf...    ...      F * C K I N G     crAzY. -h.

Famous last words...

in the event of my death...Death can come unsuspecting, as hindsight is a foul thing.

Words to die by, and unfortunalety remembered for..."I don"t need a helmet..."..."Is that a car coming?..."...I don't THINK I left the gas on..."..."I can outrun the cops for sure!"-in my 1989 chevy station wagon.. "I can get this REALLY clean with ammonia AND bleach!"..."Let"s use the railing (on the 13'th floor) as a CATWALK! C'mon, it"ll be fun!"..."What could possibly go wrong?...and "Oh shit..."...-h.

I am damned to Hell, but...

In the event of my death,,,

I think by most confines of organized religion I am relegated to the depths of fiery doom...Premarital sex      ( Catholic), Suicide attempts ( Catholic, again)...Hah! but I am still here..., Drugs and alcohol (Mormon),  eating beef (Hindu), killing a fly (Buddhist), ... IF I thought Heaven or Hell existed I might be scared witless...but I don't, so...

In the event of my death...

Posthumously publish all the mean and terrible things I've ever said and done. Let it be known across that land that it was I who said them and did them.

you do it to tourself. you do. And noone else...

I fell down and knicked my knee,
bruised a little...
but,
I was dancing in the streets.
Tomorrow I will walked with a gimpy gait,
but at these times
 i will not
forsake.

The Number Four Means DEATH in Japanese...

In the event of my death... I normally avoid even numbers,  especially even numbers in the increment of four.  I , while sipping the delicious beverage i concocted myself earlier, glanced down upon the surface and counted....  ... .. . 8 ice cubes. AAAAAAArgh! I said. That is shi@te luck, for sure. At which point, moments later, I TIPPED THE DRINK APON MY UNSUSPECTING COMPUTER...and dried it off.
                                          If there had been three ice cubes, it may not have occurred?
                                                          Four? I may have choked on one and died...
                                                                And it would have melted,
                                                                     And you all would be wondering
                                                                                 What killed me.  -h.